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Literature Text
It's not the wrong words
Or the mistake you've made
It's the lies you tell to me
When you try to hide the truth
How could I ever trust you
When the one I love the most
Smiles, tells everything is fine
While whole world is falling apart
And the look on your face
When I wasn't what you excepted
I shattered your beautiful dream
Turned it into cold reality
As I couldn't fullfill your wish
Oh how I hate myself
I'm never enough for you
I cannot change inner me
Nor the emotions I have
I'm beautiful no more
Your love has withered
Was it only for my looks
Did you care after all
You won't admit it to me
From your eyes I see the truth
I was near perfect to you
But never perfect enough
Or the mistake you've made
It's the lies you tell to me
When you try to hide the truth
How could I ever trust you
When the one I love the most
Smiles, tells everything is fine
While whole world is falling apart
And the look on your face
When I wasn't what you excepted
I shattered your beautiful dream
Turned it into cold reality
As I couldn't fullfill your wish
Oh how I hate myself
I'm never enough for you
I cannot change inner me
Nor the emotions I have
I'm beautiful no more
Your love has withered
Was it only for my looks
Did you care after all
You won't admit it to me
From your eyes I see the truth
I was near perfect to you
But never perfect enough
Literature
Mirrors
Mirrors
The last to sleep, and first to rise,
I see everything pass my eyes.
The rumours, the secrets, all you say,
It doesn't take a genius, you're not okay.
Oh, I'm no peach, I know that too,
But know that I can see right through you,
The tremors in your eyes, flick of the wrist,
And you wonder for a second if you'll be missed?
Literature
The True Escape
Everytime the night falls
I must rest my eyes
This is my true escape
For when i sleep, i dream
In my dreams
No one can touch me
It's nearly perfect
I go to a new world
Everynight i visit a new land
A place where things make sense,
and i don't have to cry
A place so wonderful
Don't you get that feeling?
When all you can do is sleep
Just so you can escape reality
There is nothing wrong with that
For when we sleep
No onen can lay hands
On what is ours at night
The blessing of sleep
When i dream, its of you
Sometimes, its of us
Others, it's simply me happy
Though this is our blessing
Hot tears run down though
Why
Literature
I'm Alive..?
Don't try to see the good in me
Cause it's hidden behind lock and key
I never let anyone inside
Won't let them wipe the tears I've cried
I don't think they'd really care
If they knew of all the scars I bear
They try to make me feel less worthless
But I know that I deserve this
For still having a beating heart
I'm trying not to fall apart
But you
Just take me
Make me feel
Erase these lies
Tell me what's real
Hold me close
Hold me all night
Make me feel like
I'm alive.
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I feel at times like this..
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Comments35
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First off thanks for the invitation to critique your poetry. Such things can be hard to do because people's poems tend to be personal and sensative. Before I begin the critique I would like to share with you that you are not the only one going through this horrendous feeling. Infact, I too am personally experiencing such factors in my life. Now, on with your poem <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>
I'm sure you know that free verse poetry can be hard to get into, as it is hard to make it flow properly. You did an excellent job with how well the words, stanzas, and thoughts flowed together. There wern't any side tracked ideas randomly tossed into your verses. Good job on staying on task <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/> However, you lacked slightly in the diction category. I do realize in poems such as "Not Enough," you don't want to add fancy words into the mix. THis is a poem of thoughts, feelings, and it is straight to the point. No fluffy lacey trimmings added around the thoughts. However, it could've used just a little bit of spice in the word choice.
Your idea was definetly one that people can relate to. From lies, to not feeling good enough, to the let down from your loved one, and so on. There are many ideas wrapped into one here and that shows that you are a focused, precise writter.
All in all you did a wonderous job on conveying your thoughts and turning it into this poem. It takes a special person to be able to see something in their mind and project it into a real life model of what you see.
Brava!
Keep on writting, and may the odds be ever in your favor <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>
-LuvThemHungerGames