Here is a list of my negative AND positive sides, and as well my "problems" and problems I have survived from. You can judge me however you wish.
This will get long. I still ask you to have a bit time, and read through this. Here is some things to keep in mind, while you are reading this.
- Do you find any solution to these problems?
- Would you like to be my friend still?
- Is there some changes I could make in myself?
- Have you experienced the same? How did you survive? If you didn't, do you need support from a person which is going through the same?
- Is there something you consider as "normal"? I ask you this, because I do not know the lines between what is normal in life and what is not.
I give my word to stay polite here, unless people really start to get cocky or annoy by purpose. I will read your answers calmly. I ask you to answer here, or note me.
- I do not drink or smoke, I do not use drugs
- I can keep my promises, nowadays
- I am trustworth, nowadays
- I look for a recover
- I do not wish bad things to people anymore
- I have strange humor, and I at least TRY to be happy
- I have some talent in writing
- I like to make others happy
- I still find things to love and like - music, animals, "cute" things
- I want to help you all even though sometimes I don't know how
- I am very, very impulsive
- I used to cheat, and treat people to make them do as I wish
- I have ONCE drunk so much I got horrible urge to kill myself, and yet more horrible hangover. Will drink never again
- I have overdosed meds and ... something else, which i will never take again
- I get really suicidal and anxious at times. I get huge depression attacks, and paranoidic thoughts. I might get overworried and my mood switches lot
- I cry easily
- I have difficulties to trust others and to respect others - I admit I have no manners. No-one has ever taught me them.
- I used to distract and ignore
- At times I am really selfish, at times I hate myself too much and forget to take care of myself
- I think my appearance too much nowadays
- I think my ways to act too much
- I am afraid of failing, so I avoid everything where I might fail
- I have lost interest to lot of things
- Sometimes I believe nothing
- I believe suffering is right to me
- Sometimes I lock all emotions inside me
- I need to move away within 6 months and I don't feel ready
- I have heart issues
- I have OCD, psychosis attacks and phobias, panic attacks, paranoia, hard depression, and separated personality perhaps
- My legs and feet are really weak
- I do not eat or sleep well
- I do not move. At all.
- I get bored really easily and leave some stuff undone
- I still get traumas from the past, and worry way too much
- I am afraid of social situations and can't talk very well to others
- My hands aren't steady
- My health is bad
- I overreact too much and sometimes treat people like ... well, you know I think
- I have lost almost all old friends and seem not to get new ones
- I have never had good parents
- I always end up with problems in relationships
- I always make the wrong choises
- I have very strong opinions which I don't want to be turned off by others and it gets me mad if someone does so
- I don't know what to do with school and working
Already solved problems
- I was so insecure I cheated people because I thought they are cheating me and hurting me
- I thought I need to control everything and everyone
- I had really hard time at home and school - fights, rejection..
- Needles, blood, social situations, my own parents, narrow and high and huge places, spiders and some other creatures, other males, water, fire, rejection, school and working, all kinds of guns, being cheated/distracted..
That's all for now...